Showing posts with label Diary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Diary. Show all posts

Tuesday, 10 January 2012

The Angel of Paradise

My whole week is fulled with lots of house chores. From cooking for Sajian Nusantara, our pioneer business to taking care the little monster, Abu for a few days.. A week full with tarbiyatul aulad wa bait (kid's and family education) ;p 


My hands are now full with cuts, not from cooking, but been bullied by Abu. Maybe he wanted to make the protest because I left him alone at home whilst busy processing the orders. A day Abu true's owner brought him back to his home, I managed to shower him.. Haih, exactly like treating a little baby, aside from nagging him..


But I realized, being a woman is not just simply taking care the children nor cooking.. More roles are carried by a woman called wife.. To educate the woman to be as supportive as Siti Khadijah ra who Rasulullah praised and loved only her in her time might be impossible. To develop oneself to be as adorable but intelligent as Siti Aisyah ra might not come true. At least, there are some of their characters that we can achieve, though.


"Never did Allah (SWT) give me a better wife than Khadijah.  She believed in me when all others disbelieved; she held me truthful when others called me a liar; she sheltered me when others abandoned me; she comforted me when others shunned me; and Allah (SWT) granted me children by her while depriving me of children by other women." (Riwayat Ahmad dan Thabrani)


Siti Khadijah is so mature, she didn't question unnecessary things to her husband when the Prophet was so scared after meeting the Jibril. Rule no.1: avoid nagging! ;p 


Being a supporter in a time you also need support is not easy. As woman, I know how hard we are to be calm in such stressful situation. Yet at least, we can try to show to others that we are calm (although our hearts are burning!)


When I watched this video, what came across my mind, how huge the support Azizah has gave to her husband until almost every single sentence he said, there always be the word of 'Azizah'. Allah.. Although both of them are far no better than Rasulullah saw and Siti Khadijah, but at least, there is one story we can use as example on this era, reflecting the same situation. How far the supportive wife can inspire the husband..


More of her story here..


I've said to my friend, a quote which suddenly appeared in my mind that time. If we can't be as perfect and mature like Siti Khadijah, the best wife for him, then we should try to be like Siti Aisyah.. She's a jealous lover, intelligent and a bit childish, but the Prophet loves her more than the other wives. Characters showing a typical woman but still, she's the apple of his eye.


(quite surprise, Wan Azizah was the best student in RCSI. A challenge to myself! Source)

Is searching for my character.. Am I mature or childish? 
What ever it is, being the prettiest companion for someone in the jannah is not a choice. It's a vision.



p/s: I'm not a fan of Wan Azizah nor Anwar. Just taking some ibrah (lessons) from her life to improve myself..


"Verily, my solah, my sacrifice, my living, and my dying are for Allah, the Lord of all that exists." 


Nur Suhaila Zulkifli 
Nottingham.

Saturday, 26 November 2011

Post NMG 2011 ♥

After two weeks, the tiring days have passed by. Nottingham Malaysian Games. All Malaysians in UK-Eire know about this. Nottingham Malaysian Society doesn't need to do bombastic promotion to invite people around the globe to attend NMG. Yeah, aside from what Yuri said in the post mortem meeting- "We do need a promotion video to let the people know, what we serve for them in NMG." I agree, because the only thing the Malaysians know about NMG is the Malaysian style of Sports Day and Canteen Day!


Looking back to the past tiring two weeks, loads of smiles, loads of excitements where seen when more than 5000 Malaysians coming from all over UK, Ireland and Scotland gathered in the same place- University of Nottingham. Everyone was happy to meet old friends after a few months or even, a few years! Lots of chatting, eating, playing, walking happened from 9am to 7pm of 12th November 2011. It's a pleasant scenery to view.


Not missed to be mention, all the hassle, all the ciaos and all the RUBBISH made along the way. Frankly speaking, I wonder, why Malaysians on that day (every single year of NMG, though!), acted the same way like the people on the Malaysia's street. Every two litters been picked up, you'll find a ciggarette bud. Wonder, where all those smoking people coming from. Well, because you hardly find Malaysian smokers in Notts. 


After 4 years, this was my first time to step into Power League, the venue for football. I've been warned by my friends, I'll see the typical Malaysian guys who seem like never see women before. 'Sweeting' at women. Luckily, I didn't manage to experience that. Perhaps, all those guys had gone away. 


It was another 'noble' experience of seeing loving Muslim couples holding hands- after 2 months I flew off from Malaysia. I don't mind about our Chinese or Indians friends, it is their choice. But for Muslims, sorry to say, I'm tired. As if, only you have the boyfriend or girlfriend! I prayed, their love lasts even when they get married.


After all those miserable day, my heart asked myself about the social purpose of NMG: "Who were we actually serving for?" If we were serving the VIP, they were just a few. If the flow of NMG seemed mess in their eyes, they could condemned us and refused to give the sponsorship. 


If we were serving the players or the food tenders, they (some of them) kept commenting and criticizing all the efforts we've made without trying to put themselves in our shoes. If we were serving the thousands of visitors, we did not actually have time to please them for coming to Notts. Even, the volunteers and committee didn't have time to be spent with our friends coming from other universities! Plus, all the mess and jam been made (by no one's friends), honestly it was tiring. 


My study circle's mates said, "I talked to one of the chess players. He said, he just managed to practice an hour session before the tournament. He came to NMG mainly not to be a player, but to meet his friends." 


Other responses normally heard when you ask the visitors, why you come to NMG? : 
" I want to go to Malaysian Food Festival (MFF) and find the authentic nasi lemak I'm be missing for long time!"
" I want to give support to our university's basketball team!"
" I want to gain extra money to support my family. That's why, I want to be the tender of selling food in MFF."


Every single of us have lots of reasons why we were here. As the volunteers, although it was tiring and stressful and hurts (we cried for organizing NMG, don't you know that!), to be a volunteer of NMG is something not to be missed. 


We spent lots of memorable time working together, regardless of gender, race and belief (and political view:p) . We went home at 2am after setting up the Sport Center. We gave wake up calls at 4.30 am on the day itself. We had meetings until 1am. We craved for food after long hours haven't eating something (because we were too busy until forgot to eat!). We helped each other cleaning up the venue. We showed our tremendous care (although we are not too caring persons!). We got the chance to make new best friends. We (ehem, not me) cooked delicious volunteers' and VIPs' food from 6pm to 2am non-stop. And the lists seem endless..


Here some memorable statements that makes my day! It just a few, though! Too many to be print-screened!


We first met in NMG and enjoyed working together for MFF:)) 

 




The adorable NMG mascot:))

NMG crew.. Me also lahh!

More amazing pictures: here and here and here :P (Let them tell you the excitement we gained!)

Collection of videos:

NMG official promotional video

Malaysian Food Festival's video made by Malaysia' Kitchen

NMG Memorable Video made by Trek Siswa



This from UKEC (the representative council for Malaysian students in UK-Eire)

Writing with love,
MFF volunteer 2008
MFF Manager 2009
MFF volunteer 2010
NMG Driver 2011




"Verily, my solah, my sacrifice, my living, and my dying are for Allah, the Lord of all that exists." 




Nur Suhaila Zulkifli 
Nottingham.

Tuesday, 8 November 2011

Wormphobia

Ya Allah, please make me a good servant of Yours. Give me the best ending of my life, during the time I hold my last breath, the time people wash my jenazah, the time people perform my last 'solah', the time my body buried in the soil, the time I'm alone in barzakh.

Please never let the worms and what ever soft-skinned amphibians be closer to my dead body.. Please..

Oh, I need to strive harder to avoid the creatures getting closer to my body in my life after death. Really really need to be a good servant to Him, so that He fulfill my will. Amiin..

p/s: This post is written right after I saw two big slugs on my way to the washing machine. Don't expect me to remove them from blocking my way! I'll never do that! Eeeeyyyyyy...

"Verily, my solah, my sacrifice, my living, and my dying are for Allah, the Lord of all that exists."

Nur Suhaila Zulkifli
Nottingham.

Monday, 17 October 2011

Motivation To Success

Reflecting back to 3 years of gaining tarbiyah. Watching a video of Sultan Muhamad al-Fateh, the Conqueror make me realise. His story influences me a lot from the beginning I approached the true meaning of being a Muslim. Up til now, my tears easily flow when I reflect back how honourable he is in the eyes of the Prophet (peace be upon him). I found his leadership and achievement as my strength in the battle to jannah. The history has never fail to touch my heart.



I didn't know why. There was one video telling about the journey of Sultan Muhamad al- Fateh and his army to conquer Constantinople. When I watched it, all of a sudden, I promised to myself, "I'll pray in Aya Sophia no matter what happen." And yeah it was. 


I went to Turkey after a few months. And the promise still kept fresh in my head. I knew, no one is allowed to pray there anymore since it has been used as museum during the time of Kamal Attarturk. I didn't tell my friends about this. I walked alone in the huge magnificent building, finding a safe place to pray. It's hard to find place free from people though. What most important for me that time was, as long as the guards didn't stop me and the tourists didn't feel too awkward seeing someone's praying. 


Taking ablution using the mineral water in my hand, alhamdulillah Allah eased my way to perform solah tahiyatul masjid. I can't describe how calm it felt when my face touched the floor of Aya Sophia, once a sacred masjid which witnessed the victory of Islam.


Alhamdulillah too, our apartment in Istanbul was facing the Bosphorus Strait. The first day I was in  the old city of Istanbul, facing the Bosphorus on my right and Golden Horn on my left, tears running through my cheek. "Oh, Lord, I'm here. I'm in the place where Islam has once rule the world." It seemed like I could feel the anxiety and share the happiness of the success. I prayed, my iman and faith would increase through the journey in Turkey. Praise to Allah, I went back to UK as a better Muslim.


May his story always reminds me to the strength and success a Muslim can achieve. Plus, how the success link to a close relationship with Allah. Hablun minal Allah (relationship with Allah) and hablun minan nas (relationship with human).




"Verily, my solah, my sacrifice, my living, and my dying are for Allah, the Lord of all that exists." 


Nur Suhaila Zulkifli 
Nottingham.

Saturday, 15 October 2011

The Meaning of Sacred Guidance

Istikhara, the solah which is too common to be related with the need of guidance. Where the Muslim seek for an answer from his Lord, the God All Knowing. Where he will bow his head on the ground asking for direction on choosing two different roads that seem merge together. Where he will submit his life to his Lord because He is the One who hold his soul.


The confusion, the doubt all are too big to be put upon an ordinary man. He is in search of guidance. The guidance needed to lighten the darkness in his heart. The guidance needed to return back his peace he always dreams about.

Perhaps, only at this moment, the servant knows the meaning of the solah he always did before. Where, all the decisions will be made by Him. Allah the Almighty. The God who knows each single matter in someone’s heart. Who keeps the secret of life, the destiny of His servants, the ending story of each of His creation.. To Him, his servants should seek for a piece of guidance.

We never know how we will end, we never know with who we will spend the remaining seconds, we never know either we see the paradise or the hell when we face sakaratulmaut (the last moments before we die). All we can do, is to pray. So that, we will get the best ending.

Keep asking because He always listening. He delays the reply to test the loyalty of His servant seeking the truth. Believe, the best has yet to come..

***
Only at this moment, the servant knows what it feels to find the best companion. To accompany him, walk alongside in giving the best services to please their God. To commit themselves to the works of Islam. The love comes when two souls are tied on His path. With His will and His guidance.


He knows the time has come. And the decision is waiting to be made. Only with the light from Him.

“Oo Lord, this heart will only belong to someone You direct me to..”





"Verily, my solah, my sacrifice, my living, and my dying are for Allah, the Lord of all that exists." 


Nur Suhaila Zulkifli 
Nottingham.

Wednesday, 12 October 2011

Media Bias

I found this post is so funny and quite.. hm.. I can say, 'sinis'. Couldn't find any better words in English that can portray 'sinis' really well.


Sebelum start baca paper hari ini, ini sedikit analisis bagaimana sebuah tajuk media direka.

Nah bacalah, pankreasmu bakal digeletek dengannya...

Situasi sebenar : Seorang nenek pegi kedai beli ubi, tiba-tiba dilanggar beca lalu mati di tempat kejadian.

Buletin Utama - "Nenek meninggal dunia, pemandu beca dicari."

Harian Metro - "Hangat! Nenek mati dengan ubi di tangan."

Utusan Malaysia - "Nenek mati dilanggar beca satu propaganda pembangkang?"

Harakah - "Kami tiada beca."

Malaysiakini - "Beca langgar lari bukti kerajaan makan rasuah."

Obefiend - "Nenek meleis mati. Aku suka vodka."

Twitter @NajibRazak - "Nenek sanggup mati kerana ubi, menunjukkan ubi 1Malaysia berkualiti dan digemari rakyat!"

Blog Melayu paranoid - "Keraguan sijil halal ubi mungkin punca nenek mati dilanggar beca."

Ibrahim Ali - "Sampai bila kita nak tengok nenek-nenek Melayu mati dilanggar beca akibat ubi orang Cina dan India? Melayu perlu bangun menentang!"

Pancaindera - "Kisah nenek dilanggar beca diabadikan dalam filem terbaru David Teo, Beca Gangster."

Mastika - "Misteri penarik beca: temubual eksklusif dengan hantu ubi."


Samy Vellu - "Beca tak bayar tol dicari! "


***
Just came back from a talk given by Palestinian Christians. Interestingly, aside from telling what and how they undergo their religious routine oppressively in Palestine, the term peace and justice have been said repeatedly. Just like if I listen to a talk carried out by the Palestinian Muslims. There's similarity to be pondered upon.


The post above actually reminds me back to the statement said by a Palestinian Christian lady about the bias of media. "You read CNN, you'll find, '3 US armies were killed in Palestine' as the title. And there's small print down the news saying '300 Palestinians were killed in this battle'. And when you read Al-Jazeera, the headline will be -'300 Palestinians killed'. And nothing stated about the US army."


I admit that. In Malaysia, it also happens the same way. Best way, is to compare both side of news. You've got the internet anyway. Extract the information you got and digest the one you have choose critically.


Other than the media bias issue, I'm attracted with their support of Hamas. "Hamas is good people. It's unfair to put Hamas alongside with the terrorist because they fight for equality and justice of Palestinians- either they are Muslims, Christians and Jews. They do the humanity works. I've got lots of friends who are Hamas. And I know them really well."


Overwhelming with what he said. SubhanaAllah (praise be to Allah), it shows me how a jundullah (the army of Allah) should be. Always show the akhlak (manners) of Islam to everyone around you. Remember, you carry the amanah (responsibility) of maintaining the good name of your jamaah (society).


May Allah strengthen the Palestinians' unity against injustice always. Palestine will be free!


"Verily, my solah, my sacrifice, my living, and my dying are for Allah, the Lord of all that exists." 


Nur Suhaila Zulkifli 
Nottingham.

Tuesday, 21 June 2011

Viva La Voce ;p

My phone vibrated. Phone number starting with +4471 really made me wonder. Who was calling me from UK?

“Hi, I’m Markus’s friend. I’ve got your number from him. You’ve been called for a viva tomorrow evening. “

Oh, my God! Allah.. It means that my degree marks is in borderline. I could feel back the nervous of sitting for an exam paper.. Clueless about the viva, I decided to keep myself calm first before I preparing anything with a lost mind. Well, by sleeping. (LOL!)

Thank God, I gave my Malaysia phone number to my supervisor. Even though, I gave him, so that, he can ask my help during his annual stay in Malaysia soon. Let if he forget few important Malay words. I believe, he won’t, though!

I would love to share this valuable experience. My viva was not perfect, with complete loss of memory about bowel cancer and BRCA2 role. Nonetheless, at least, those who will be called for a viva won’t need to repeat my mistakes again and are fully aware, what they should know about it.

Mainly, viva voce for an undergraduate student is all about the study life in that particular course. Thus, you usually will be asked about:
- what you enjoyed most in your course? What do you think about it?
- Which module you like most? Why? What you learnt in the module?
- The examiner may pick other module and ask you randomly about it. These questions may be a sort of exam questions. They are not too specific and too nerve-racking, though.

Meanwhile, viva for a postgraduate student is completely about your thesis. Here I summarise all the information you should know to get yourself well-prepared for this oral assessment.

Right After Submitting Thesis
-make your writing’s summary for each section after you finish writing the thesis. Crucial because you don’t have to read the lengthy thesis repeatedly.

- keep the subject alive in your head!

- reread your writing in the foot of examiners.

- be prepared for extra readings that you may not yet read. The examiners may ask this! Check for recent studies. Don’t stop reading until viva finish!

-prepare questions that they may ask:
·         Which specific field your study should be fit in? Which topic area potentially overlaps with yours?
·         In one sentence, what is your project is all about? General comprehension. Tell them what is the most important of your thesis.
·         Why you choose this topic? Try to show what you did isn’t because your supervisor asked you to do so > It is your own work and you understand it very well (inside-out).
·         What have you done? Is there any alternative for the approach? Why you don’t use other method? Clarify your method> why you did it that way? Show how effective it was.
·         Summarise your key findings. Demonstrate your hypothesis: are you following it?
·         What makes you proud on this project? Believe positively in your field of work: don’t be pesimist.
·         What is the contribution of your project? Broader aspect of application.
·         What’s the originality of this works? Compare it with other papers.
·         What is the strength and weakness (what’s wrong) of your project? Check the conclusion section of writing. Find your own critiques and why. How you can improve it?
·         Other example: some statements in the writing that need further explanation.

When You Have Been Allocated A Date For Viva
- find journal related to your external examiner. To understand the way your examiner describes as important.

- familiarize yourself with your references: which literature influenced you most, etc.

Viva Grill- Time!
- what usually happens in viva is the examiners will go through your writings and ask sequentially.

-don’t put yourself in vulnerable situation: answer only for question been asked. Just 2-3 minutes answer per question, please.

- be descriptive. No generalization. Prepare for a more depth clarification.
-take time to answer the questions.

- don’t feel bad when the examiners ask you lots of questions.

- be honest if you can’t answer the question. Assure them that you will work it out to find the answer.

- if they have misconception on your writing, you should clarify it back.
Source:

[1] Nasty PhD Viva Questions



"Verily, my solah, my sacrifice, my living, and my dying are for Allah, the Lord of all that exists."

Nur Suhaila Zulkifli
Negeri Sembilan.

Friday, 10 June 2011

My Life in His Hands

Just ten minutes after I’m checking my Yahoo inbox, another 10 new emails need to be read. Luckily, Maxis prepaid broadband in the morning is much faster than it is in the evening. Last two years, I used TMnet dial-up and it took me two days to going through 200 emails.

An email entitled “PGCE 2011/2012 TERM” attracted my attention. I’ve never thought this is a shocking email.

Dear Students I hope all is well with you. I have good news for all of you ... I hope it is good news. We have received an allocation to send all of you for PGCE together with your other friends for the 2011/2012 Term. All those in the University of Surrey and King's College London will go to St. Mary's University College and those in the University of Nottingham, Birmingham and Manchester will go to the University of Nottingham.

Everyone, please get back to me ASAP if you have any questions and if you are back in Malaysia. I want to emphasize that everyone will have to do PGCE, no exception.

Allahu akbar! Honestly, I can’t describe how I feel up till now, neither happy nor sad. I should be glad because Allah gives me another chance to be in a place like heaven on earth, due to its bi’ah solehah, the Islamic environment surrounds the people. Nonetheless, I do admit, I’m sad because the purpose I choose to pursue my study in Malaysia is to cater my families’ need. So that I will always be with them whenever they need me.

The only question raised in my mind is, what destiny Allah has designed for me? Where my life is actually leading to. My qada’ and qadar are truly out of my knowledge. What happened is totally out of my mind. I’ve never thought, I’ll be able to come back to Nottingham, at least in three years time.  In fact, in three months, I’ll be there again.

Aside from thinking how should I settling my PGCE registration, all my packed stuffs which will be shipped soon, the rent house I’ll be living in Nottingham, flight ticket, etc, it is funny to think, the reactions of my friends. Will they be able to accept me back, after tears, after numbers of goodbye cards, after lots of farewell gifts, after few farewells moments? Surely, I’ll be killed by them.

Oo Lord, guide me, please.


"Verily, my solah, my sacrifice, my living, and my dying are for Allah, the Lord of all that exists." 


Nur Suhaila Zulkifli 
Negeri Sembilan.

Mementingkan Diri atau Mengutamakan Diri

Telah ‘diberi amaran’ sebelum ini tentang pahit maung dalam mencari rumah. Hatta rumah baru, rumah terpakai, mahupun rumah lelong. Semuanya ada risiko. Risiko pinjaman bank yang berdepan dengan kadar faedah berganda dari jumlah pinjaman itu, satu hal. Risiko rumah itu mudah atau susah untuk menjadi milik kita pula, satu hal lain yang cukup besar.

Sejujurnya, isu mencari rumah ini, bukanlah suatu yang membangkitkan semangat. Penat sebab puas mencari rumah-rumah, di internet dan bertanya pada orang. Susah sebab ini kali pertama dan kita sendiri masih kurang pengalaman. Baru setahun jagung nak kenal dunia, sudah nak masuk ke kancah yang berisiko.

Motivasi tinggi perlu. Hinggakan perlu bawa diri, ke majlis yang menguatkan jiwa dan rohani.. Biar semangat juang mencari rumah itu membara kembali.

”Ko gi juga ke program ni, walaupun tak kenal sesiapa kat sana, sebab memang ko nak sangat gi, dan ko memang nak bawa diri kan?”
”Da la Su. Balik ni, jangan merajuk-rajuk da,” pesan teman baikku tempat aku meluahkan beban yang menyempitkan benak fikiran.

***
Alhamdulillah, berjumpa satu rumah lelong yang dipersetujui oleh Ma dan Abah. Jauh lebih murah dari rumah lelong yang ditarget sebelumnya yang mendorongku pulang ke Malaysia lebih awal. Murah memang murah. Tapi lucunya, rumah itu cuma ada dinding, pagar (cantiklah tapi), bilik, lantai dan tingkap. Tiada lampu, kipas mahupun peralatan yang boleh diganti. Allah. Memang murah.

Kali pertama juga menjejakkan kaki ke Mahkamah Tinggi Seremban untuk acara pelelongan. Dikhabarkan, hanya dua orang penawar untuk rumah tersebut. Kemungkinan besar kerana ejen yang ku hubungi telah mempengaruhi orang lain supaya tidak turut membida. Penawar yang seorang lagi tidak melalui ejen, kerana beliau diberitahu oleh syarikat guaman tempatnya bekerja tentang rumah lelong tersebut. Aku pula, terlibat dengan ejen tanpa ada niat, kerana ejen itulah yang mempamerkan nombornya di hadapan rumah lelong itu. Rupanya kita yang kena bayar padanya komisyen, jika kita menang. Memandangkan Maybank tidak membayar komisyen kepada ejen hartanah, tidak seperti kebanyakan bank. Untuk makluman, seorang ejen hanya boleh membawa seorang penawar.

Sempat ku perhatikan politik penawar-penawar dan ejen ketika perkarangan tempat lelongan itu. Ada yang memujuk agar menjadi penawar yang pasif, ie, tidak menawarkan harga untuk membeli rumah tersebut. Pujukan bukan sebarang pujuk. Seribu dua ringgit itu biasa sebagai ’duit kopi’. Jujurnya, jika kita betul-betul nak rumah itu, duit kopi sebegini lebih menguntungkan dari kenaikan harga bida mencecah puluhan ribu, bukan?

9 pagi kami tiba di tempat lelong. Hingga pukul 11 pagi, nombor kes rumah lelong yang kami sasarkan masih belum dipanggil. Waktu ini, kami diperkenalkan oleh pelelong rumah tersebut kepada ’lawan’ kami. Seorang auntie yang ku kira sudah dalam akhir 40an. Mulanya beliau menawarkan RM1K melalui ejenku agar kami menarik diri. Ejenku menyampaikannya kepadaku. Aku menolak. Ini bukan soal duit, tapi soal tempat tinggal untuk keluargaku. Kalau kami tidak dapat rumah ini sebelum berjuang, perjuangan kami entah bila akan selesai sedangkan masa perjuangan makin singkat.

Tak lama selepas itu, Abah minta aku bertanya jika Auntie itu sudah masuk melihat keadaan di dalam rumah lelong tersebut.  Satu aniaya buatnya jika tidak mengetahui rumah yang hendak dibeli itu rumah ’tidak siap’. Katanya, sudah kerana dia tinggal di kawasan itu. Walaupun banyak yang perlu diperbaiki, namun setidaknya itu rumah sendiri.

Sedikit demi sedikit, beliau membuka cerita. Beliau ibu tunggal, dan sangat memerlukan rumah itu, kerana dekat dengan tempat kerjanya. Anaknya masih kecil dan beliau tidak mampu mencari rumah lebih mahal (harga normal jualan rumah di kawasan sekitar bandar Port Dickson adalah dalam RM100k). Beliau sendiri sudah tua, dan tidak lulus untuk mendapat pinjaman bank.

Aku memalingkan mukamu ke tempat lain sambil mendengar setiap butir bicaranya. Cuba menyembunyikan rasa simpati yang mula berputik dalam hati. Apa yang aku harus buat, ya Allah? Adakah patut kami memberi laluan kepada Auntie ini? Atau terus bertahan, kerana ini peluang kami bertemu rumah untuk kami berteduh? Atau perlukah kami beralah?

Abah sudah rasa bersalah. Aku melarikan diri ke tempat lain. Cuba menenangkan diri. Terngiang-ngiang kata ustaz, ”kalau takut syaitan bisikkan kejahatan, beristighfarlah.” Aku khuatir, andai keputusan beralah atau bertahan itu hasil kerana aku mengikut bisikan syaitan. Ya Allah, tunjukkanlah yang terbaik untuk kami..

“Macam mana Long? Abah tak tahu camne nak tolong Auntie tu da. Sayu dengar dia cakap macam tu,˝

“ Tapi kita pun susah gak, Abah. Setidaknya dia ada rumah sewa. Kita, rumah sewa pun takde da ni.” Sebak ditahan. Allah,moga betullah keputusan ini. Memang aku tegar meneruskan pembidaan ini, namun aku sangat rasa bersalah pada Auntie tu.

”Kalau macam tu, kita go ahead jela. Ada rezeki, adalah tu..”

“38-226-08!” Nombor kes rumah lelong kami dipanggil. Aku, auntie, pelelong dan peguam masuk ke bilik lelongan. Timbalan Pendaftar menetapkan setiap tawaran adalah dinaikkan sebanyak RM2K. Maknanya, harga bida rumah itu akan bertambah RM2K jika kami sanggup membida harga yang lebih tinggi dari harga sebelumnya.  Alhamdulillah. Rumah sebelum ini, yang harga rizabnya RM50K, mengalami kenaikan setiap RM4K. Mungkin kerana rumah itu ramai pembida. Tambah-tambah lagi, ada juga pembida yang datang hanya untuk menaikkan harga rumah itu. Satu perkara yang jelas haram dalam Islam. (Harga rizab adalah harga permulaan lelong, ie harga minimum rumah tersebut.)

Memang Auntie itu tidak mampu untuk menawarkan harga yang lebih tinggi dari harga rizab lelong. Alhamdulillah, aku memenangi lelongan itu. Namun, astaghfirullahal azim, aku menumpang rasa kesedihan pada Auntie itu. Sebelum aku dibawa menandatangi kontrak jual beli, aku cuba menawarkan bantuan kepada Auntie itu untuk mencarikan rumah untuknya, namun beliau menolak. Aku kecewa.

Mujur, tak lama sejurus itu, beliau kembali menemuiku. Kami bertukar nombor telefon, dan beliau meminta tolongku jika ada mengetahui rumah untuk dijual atau dilelong di sekitar kawasan perumahan rumah lelong itu.

***
Masih ada rasa khuatir, adakah ini keputusan yang terbaik. Namun, jawapannya hanya Allah yang tahu. Moga keputusan yang ku ambil bukan kerana kami mementingkan diri, namun kerana kami perlu utamakan keluarga kami dahulu.

Soal rumah yang ’tak siap’ yang telah dimenangi itu, akan ku serahkan kepada adik-adikku yang lelaki. Pandai-pandailah mereka menjadi kontraktor berjaya. Nama pun hero-hero. ^_^


"Verily, my solah, my sacrifice, my living, and my dying are for Allah, the Lord of all that exists."


Nur Suhaila Zulkifli
Negeri Sembilan.

Wednesday, 18 May 2011

My Life, As A Student

Looking back to the past..


Kindergarten


"Eh, Suhaila.. Why your 'A' has that strange 'tail' ? asked Cikgu Normah.


"Is it wrong, cikgu? I don't know.. My mum teaches me to write like that." An accusation to escape myself.


Standard 1

"Ok, six of you have to wear lovely gown on Award Giving Day. You'll be going up to stage to receive present. Remember, to walk properly and say thank you to the Headmaster."

Standard 2


"Ma, I will have a lunch together with my classmates tomorrow. I'm so excited to give a Hindustan performance with my friends.. We've been practising to dance for so long. La la la.. "

Standard 3


"All of you here will be taking PTS (Level One's Assessment). Just do your best, ok?"


And I entered the exam hall knowing nothing what was it all about. The result, soft fail. Ha3 :P

Standard 4


"I have to punish three of you because you are so naughty. You should not write a 'wedding invitation card' and spread it to your friends even though it just a joke. I know you just want to tease your friend by making gossips, but it's not good. Understand?"


"Yes, ustaz.."

Standard 5


"Ok, there's a mystery we need to solve near the beach. We have to be quick because the boys are competing us. Remember, all notes to be passed among us must be written using the codes we've created."


Believe it or not, the addiction to the crime scene book series, like Siri Salma, and Hadi, drived two group of students up to this extent.

Standard 6

Lots of camps, motivation programs.. Be a better and less naughtier than before. Big exam was around the corner, anyway. Mindset: if you do bad things, Allah won't give you good results.


Form 1


"Who told you that you can go home earlier? Wait until 6.30pm, then the gate will be opened."

"Ala, we have to wait for another half an hour.. The teacher finished her teaching earlier. It's not our fault. "


Experienced the excitement for conquering the school during evening session class.


Form 2


"I brought this eggs and flour. We will throw all of this when the bus (we ride) pass our enemy (students of the other school). Aim to the right target, ok."


"Ok, attack!!" All the nasty stuff were thrown through the window. Quickly, we closed the window. As expected, we received the counterback attack. Laughing inside the bus because they didn't manage to hit us (all the egg smashed the bus windows, except for...)


"Oiiii!!!" We turned our face to the seat at the back.


"Hahaha! You really look like a roti canai with egg on top!" We laughed hysterically at the unfortunate friend who had been hit by an egg. Poor him.

This is the ritual of us each time the school term ended. We thought the game was over. But..


"Ok, guys, see you all next sem! Happy holidays!" We went out from the bus, leaving a few friends who haven't reached their destinations.


"Hey Kiki! Look here!" one of the naughtiest guy shouted to my friend who dropped off at the same stop with me. He looked up through the window. All of a sudden..

"Ohh!!! " A bag of flour was poured down from the window. The guy in front of me, was turned out to be totally white.


I couldn't stop laughing. Not helping him at all to reduce the whiteness he'd just received. Tired of cleaning himself, he walked home with white hairs, and white-blotted school slacks.


Form 3


"Where's Suhaila? She's absent,"


"She went to the hospital to visit her mother, cikgu. Her mother had just delivered a baby girl." Secretly, my friends gave a weird name for my youngest sister.


Form 4


"Ohana means family, and family means no one will be left behind." That's our batch moto.



Entering a bording school. A girls-only school (what!). First time being far away from home (one hour driving, though). Learnt how to be a better muslimah ^_^. No more escaping classes, for two years :P.


Form 5


"After I explained to you about this formula, I think we should leave. I'm afraid the warden is calling the Head of Student Affairs. For sure, she will scold us for staying up late at the corridor with all these tables taken from the pantry."


My worries turned to reality..


"WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP THERE?! GET INTO YOUR ROOM, NOW!!" The most fierce woman in the school walked into the hostel and raised her volume to the highest at us. 


Luckily my room was just a minute run from the place I studied before. I only managed to take my calculator. All my books were left at that place. Got on the bed and pretended sleeping.

5 minutes after, I could hear the books were thrown away from first floor. The plastic chairs as well.. Oh my...

The next day,..


"Sis, could you please help me pick my books from the ground floor?" I asked my junior, not bulying her ok.. Of course it was a shame to reveal that a prefect (not just me actually) also involved in last night incidents. And worst thing was, the whole students knew about this. Waa!!! T.T

Matriculation College


"Eh Su, it's very early today for you to be in your room. Don't you have any meeting?"


"Cett.. :P"

"Eh, I forgot to tell you, here is the home-made crips, given by Mak Cik Ani.. Aish, she's extremely kind to you, treating you like a daughter-in-law."


I laughed when thinking about my floormates who would always pointed my name to avoid from being scolded by Mak Cik Ani if they (and me) did mess. Once, they celebrated my birthday by pouring me a bucket of water with flour. Later, we celebrated our friends birthday, with baby powder and blue-coloured water.


Uni- 1st year


"Quick!!! The bus is leaving!"


We ran like crazy trying to catch the hopper bus 50m in front of us. If we missed the bus, then we would walk to the University Park for 30 minutes.


Every week, there would be a gathering among Ohanna- our usrah group plus free food brought by our lovely naqibaat.

Uni- 2nd year


We were the seniors. My house was a place for visit almost every week. As usual, the visitors will hardly saw me at home.

Uni- 3rd year


The time went by too fast. I'm entering my last two weeks in UK. With two exam papers still left for the upcoming week. I wish I can turn back the time. But, I feel so grateful because throughout my life, I will always have companions by my side, cheering me up when I sad, and supporting me in whatever I do. Thank you so much, Allah. You are so kind to me. =) xx


"Verily, my solah, my sacrifice, my living, and my dying are for Allah, the Lord of all that exists." 


Nur Suhaila Zulkifli
Greenfield Medical Library
Nottingham.

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